"You can’t possibly know what it’s like to be someone else, but it’s also true that no one knows what it’s like to be you." - Seth Godin

"You can’t possibly know what it’s like to be someone else, but it’s also true that no one knows what it’s like to be you." 
People, friends and foe included can sometimes confuse us. 
We wonder, we try to decipher why they do what they do. 
Sometimes we even think we understand them.
Sometimes we advise them, sometimes we ridicule and discourage them. 
Yet the truth is, you can't fully comprehend what it's like to be them, to be in their own shoes, to see the world from their own eyes and experiences. 

Understand also that no one knows what it's really like to be you.
Don't try to get everyone to understand you. 
It's impossible for people to know what it's like to be you. 
Not everyone can fully appreciate why you think or do the many 'crazy' things you do. 
Not that people hate you, they may even love you, yes they do. 
Yet, it's too much to ask for to expect everyone to know what it's like to be who you are.
Forgive them. 
Appreciate people for who they strive to be, don't judge anyone. 
Spend you time instead being yourself and creating the good you are trying to create.

Don't be afraid to think and be different

Reaching our highest potential will be virtually impossible if we are not able to have our own independent thoughts and develop the courage to live in a manner true to us. There's nothing wrong with being different. Yet, we often feel the pressure to fit in, to be like everyone else and in the process give up on our own strengths and uniqueness. We live double lives, where in our hearts we truly believe this, yet on the outside we try hard to impress, we worry what others might think of us, we bend to the wishes and pressures of the crowd and we do what is considered to be normal.

We all have an innate desire to live and act in a manner true to our deepest values and convictions yet few of us build the courage to do so. From a young age, we have gotten used to silencing our own voices. We got used to not doing what we truly believe in and learned to carry a false mask around others, not saying what we truly feel, never pursuing what makes sense to us or what makes us happy and fulfilled.

On your quest to reach your highest potential, you will inevitably have to take off this false image foisted on you by others. A life you are going to be proud of is not a life of living the dreams and wishes of others, but a life true to you, your dreams and the unique contribution you want to make.  

Ofcourse, don't expect everyone to be happy with you for thinking or doing things differently. For a few people, your courage to think and act differently is crazy or even a threat to their own self image, the mask they themselves have been taught to wear. Many of them may have given up on their own dreams to live the wishes of others and so won't be very pleased with you for taking action to live and act in a manner true to your own personal vision and values.

Great leaders you admire and people who have achieved their best in life and contributed to society the most have had to be courageous enough to overcome the tendency to just fit in with the crowd. 

For those of us striving to become strong leaders, this is imperative, it's absolutely required of us. We have to be able to dare to live and act in a manner honest with our true selves. 

Leadership starts with a personal vision, have one

Take some time to think about these questions. Why are you doing what you are doing? Why are you working so hard? What kinds of experiences do you want to have in your life? What drives you? What are you trying to achieve? If you have clear answers to the these questions, well done, you are already a huge step towards becoming a better leader (of yourself in the first place).
I firmly believe every young person needs a personal vision. We all need to be clear about where we want to take our lives, the contribution we want to make and use that as the standard to set and evaluate our short and long term goals and activities. Of course, a vision is not set in stone, it is rather a compass that directs you toward what you have decided to prioritise in your life. When and if what you want out of your life changes, you review your vision and recalibrate your daily activities and goals to take you on your new destination.
Your personal vision is also the standard you use to determine which things you need to say no to and which environments best suit you. You should constantly be checking whether the activities you are engaged in right now are supporting you towards achieving your ideal self.

Having a personal vision is crucial for leadership. Your vision is the reason why you care so much about something, and the reason why you are working so hard to achieve the things you are pursuing. Your personal vision makes it easy for those around you to know who you are and what you stand for. This in my view is the foundation of leadership, everything else is secondary.
A common mistake, especially for us young people, is to do things just because other people are doing them or because others say so. Your personal vision is not what your parents, or teacher or anyone else wants you to achieve; it is about what you want to make out of your life.
With a personal vision, you are clear about who you are, why you are doing the things you are doing the way you do them, and what you are trying to achieve. This is how you set yourself a strong foundation to succeed and be fulfilled in life.
If you find yourself losing your motivation and feeling confused too often, I recommend you take some time to seriously think about what you truly want out of your life and ask whether the things you are doing on a daily basis are helping you become more of the person you envision yourself to be. Then think about things you can start doing right now to be more of that person with every passing day.
You do not want to be the ship without a destination, a vessel floating aimlessly in the big ocean. Have a vision for your life and help those around you know what you stand for.  And that my friend is the foundation for leadership and success in life.

Don't expect great results the first time you try something new

On the contrary, your body and mind are more likely to say 'Sorry I am not used to this' and will try to stop you from doing it. An expert called Dr. Joe Dispenza talks a lot about how our body is actually our unconscious mind and how our daily thoughts condition our personality. This is why developing new habits is so hard. Because our current ways of thinking and doing have been repeated so often that, whether good or bad for us, they have virtually become habits. So, the first time you try something new understand that your body is actually going to see this as an attack on your normal way of doing things and will rather try to stop you.
This is why the ideas in the previous post are so crucial: http://theyouthstand.blogspot.com/2018/10/whatever-you-do-today-good-or-bad.html. Instead, consciously recognise, on a daily basis, that your body is going to try to resist new habits and patterns of thought. Our minds try to make things easy for us by recognising everything we do repeatedly as important and thus making it automatic. This way less mental effort and energy is needed to carry them out. This means for instance, each time you tell yourself you are not capable of doing something or you are not brilliant, you are actually convincing your brain and body to believe this. So next time you try to change and want to feel capable or brilliant, you are going to face a battle with your older self which is going to try to resist this new idea.
So do not expect to have wonderful results the first few days or weeks you try something new. First focus on convincing your body and mind that this is important and that it's going to be the new way of doing things. The way you convince your body is by just repeating it to the point that it says 'Ok, I'm in! This is important'.
So, do not beat yourself up especially in the first few days of trying a new habit or way of thinking. Do not try to do it perfectly or see great results. Just focus on repeating it regularly. As the days roll along your body and mind start believing that you are serious about this and will work with you to make it automatic.
Learn more about how to make important changes in your life here from Dr. Joe Dispenza: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=La9oLLoI5Rc&t=246s.

Whatever you do today, good or bad, becomes easier to do tomorrow.

I have found that each time I do something, it becomes easier to do that same thing the next day. Realising this has helped me develop new habits and new ways of thinking. Doing something today, then becomes an investment that makes it easier to do tomorrow. Each time you do something or think a particular way, you are actually making it easier for you to do that same thing or think in a similar way tomorrow, whether this is good or bad for you. This is both great news and not so great news. Good news because thinking this way makes it easier to bring new discipline and habits in our lives. Bad news because it also means that a little action today in the wrong direction makes it easier for us to continue on that direction tomorrow.  

The more you repeat an action or thought, the more automatic it becomes. All we have to do then is choose a new habit and only aim on sustaining it on a daily basis and reminding ourselves that by doing it today it becomes much easier to repeat the next day. Soon you do it without thinking. Don't worry about how you will sustain it tomorrow or in the future. Next day just repeat this process. The biggest part is in reminding yourself today that by doing it today you are making it easier for tomorrow. You say to yourself, ' I am doing this today so that I make it easier for me to do it tomorrow'. 

It works for both physical actions and patterns of thought. Say you have been struggling with negative thinking lately, you don't like the effect this is having on your life, you want to break this pattern and have more positive thoughts. Today (just today), try to think positive about at least one thing as you move through your day. By committing to think positive today about one thing, you make it easier to have positive thoughts tomorrow about something else, and by the time you realise positive thinking becomes your default way of perceiving things in life. 

This idea is powerful. It has made it possible for me bring new habits into my life as well as replacing old ones I was wanted to get rid of. 

The idea is you do things today as a way of making them easier to do tomorrow. 

Tomorrow is the grand price.

Your self confidence is easy to lose, protect it!

Everyone has bad days. Everyone falls off their chosen path every once in a while. Often all we see from the outside is the good stuff 'Oh, their life is so perfect. They have no problems' we say. This is far from true, no one lives a perfect life. We all have cycles of feeling great and energized about our lives and circumstances and moments of feeling inadequate and lost. We can never get everything rolling along perfectly non-stop. This is easy to agree with on the surface, but at a deeper (subconscious ) level this has been made very difficult for young people with Facebook, Whatsapp, Instagram, you name them. The fact is that, as humans we constantly compare ourselves with others around us to reassure ourselves and to feel secure and loved and liked enough. With social media, you now have the whole world as your mirror of reassurance. I know you often hear the advice, 'do not compare yourself to others', or you even think to yourself  'I am not that type of person'. In reality this is often very difficult because of how we are as humans; we are social animals. There is little you can do about this. The trick is to protect your confidence.

When we scroll down facebook, see photos of your friends in some party, new designer fashion clothing, some car (don't know if it belongs to them) or in another country, our minds start jumping around, we start to compare our situation with theirs and suddenly we start questioning our own lives and the paths we are on. We constantly check to see how many likes we have on our recent post. Our self esteem and confidence becomes dependent on this. By the time you realise your self confidence is out of your control. The more often you visit facebook a day, the more you risk to erode your confidence. You can't even see this happening because it happens subconsciously. Like the rains, you do not see gutters in a day; slowly your self confidence fades away.

I don't mean to we shouldn't go to Facebook, Whatsapp or any other social media platforms, they can be useful tools in a connected world and there is a lot to benefit from using them. But you have to be the one in control, otherwise they control you.

If you are serious about strengthening your self esteem and achieving your goals, you have to use social media wisely. It's very easy to underestimate how these things can impact our self image.
The problem with Facebook and social media in general is that all you see is people posting what is going well in their lives, rarely do we post pictures of our sad moments. This constant stream of information makes you question yourself and distracts you from your own goals  and reality. You think to yourself, 'Wow my friends are having so much fun! Or you start buying things or doing things not because they are really important to you, but because of this constant distraction.
What can you do instead? We can all take action to protect our self confidence. Personally, I have 3 set times in the day that I can go on to WhatsApp (I use facebook much less) to connect with my friends. Outside of these, I freeze all social media apps on my phone and concentrate on what I am doing. This can be hard in the beginning, but soon you don't even think about it.

It is easy to think that a quick check on facebook or 'sap' is harmless, but remember that the wind and rains do not make a big gutter in a day, as time goes on those little drops in confidence and increased distraction will have a bigger impact on your self image and will distract you from your true self and goals.
People like sharing what is going well in their lives, you are human you can't help comparing yourself with others, so protect your self esteem and concentration  by using social media wisely.

"Luck is like a bus that comes to the same stop repeatedly. But you have to be there with the right fare"

Many of us have a faulty view of luck. We think luck is this completely random, unexpected event that sweeps us away into our 'success' and in whose happening we play little to no part. This is very misleading. I see fellow young people endlessly entertaining themselves and hoping that some day luck knocks on their door. Life doesn't work that way.

The reality is that luck is not random, it doesn't just sweep you into 'success' and it certainly requires you to play your own part. Someone once said that luck is like a bus that comes to the same stop repeatedly. But to board you must have the right fare to pay, this is very true. By breaking down this analogy, we see how we can take action to create our own luck.

First you have to have the 'fare' to pay. To know how much to pay you first have to know your destination. What opportunity are you seeking? Then ask what is required for you to get this opportunity. Is this a particular set of skills, a grade, a certificate, an amount of money? How can you get these ready before the opportunity (luck) comes in? Are there alternative ways of getting these? From whom can you seek help and support? How are you going to go about it?

Next you have to actually be in the bust stop to be able to catch the bus. This means asking yourself where this opportunity is most likely going to show up? How am I going to get myself closer to this environment? When is the best time to start engaging myself and those who can help me? You do not want to come to the bus stop just to find out you missed the bus. Also, you want to make sure you are not in the wrong bus stop. Get yourself in an environment that will support your success and do not forget to choose your company carefully.

Finally, remember it doesn't end once you get on the bus. This is where many fail. You figured out what is required, prepared for it, put yourself in the right environment and you finally got it. Once you're in you have to sustain that energy. Otherwise you are likely to be disappointed. I am sure you know a lot of people who seemed to have had the perfect opportunity and circumstances, but in the end didn't go very far in life. This is where they fail.

There are of course rare times when 'luck' shows up without you taking the first and second steps. Realise that this type of luck is very risky, your situation could become very unpredictable if/when the person who brought you in is no longer there or if he/she faces a hard time themselves. Realise that you can not drop your luggage and fall into sleep mode once you board the bus.

In the end, what we mostly see as luck is actually not luck at all. We see others succeed and we see only luck. I would like to advice you stay clear of this one-day-my-luck-will-come mentality as this often leads to failure. Pure luck, where you have nothing to give is so rare I do not want you to bet your life's progress on it. It is much better to think about what you want, what would be required for you to achieve it, make sure you are in the right environment and once you get the opportunity continue to learn and improve. Don't settle down.

Remember, luck always comes around, but you have to be at the (right) bus stop with the right fare to pay.

Foundations for truly unleashing the potential of Sierra Leone's youth

The youth need incentives to unleash their great potential if they are to champion the socio-economic transformation of our nation.
Among the strongest pillars of a successful country is a youthful population empowered to support its social and economic transformation. We are very lucky to be blessed with a very young population. However a large number of young men and women is a raw material; without adding value added to it, we lose the opportunity to truly harness the potential inherent in the young people we are blessed with.
Today's youth (like it or not) face a rapidly changing and higly inter-connected world that requires them to be able to provide creative and innovative solutions to existing challenges, to possess a formidable skill set, and an attitude fuelled by a strong desire to improve themselves and their communities. This requires value to be added to the youth.
What does adding value to the youth of Sierra Leone look like? Empowering young people to become proactive champions in our country's development rests on the tools and platforms made available to them and crucially on the nature of the the structural incentives faced by young people.

In a world where ideas are the gems of growth and where the need for young people to be able to collaborate in a global stage continues to increase, much work has to be done to transform the education we give to our young people. We cannot continue to have our university graduates cramming to pass exams, we have to get them prepared to take on the challenges of this country. Our school and university syllabuses need to be rid of archaic material and subjects that aren't useful for the world of today. Education is about learning what is important for the world we face. We have to restructure our educational institutions to prioritise getting young people prepared for local and global life, not just passing exams. This would require incentives in the form of well thoughtout policies to empower the youth with the tools to succeed in a digitized global economy. We also have to measure whatever young people learn with its practical usefulness in today's society and transfrom the methods of teaching and learning used in our educational institutions to fit the Sierra Leone of today. The needs of the country should be what shapes educational processes and not the other way round.
Also, there needs to be a stronger link between schools and platforms for youth collaboration and empowerment. Young people, by the time they leave school, should have been educated and exposed to national and international opportunities where they can use what they have learned to work with other young people across the country and across countries to bring about innovative solutions that transform their communities.

Often forgotten is that even in the presence of incredible amounts of platforms and resources, little can be achieved when the system disincentivises young people. Highly visible and pervasive corruption, interference of political interests in the normal functioning of public institutions and processes, tribal and familial appointments, and poor institutional accountability measures all discourage the youth from working hard to develop innovative solutions necessary for a transformed and diversified nation. Sadly, without tackling these challenges (which requires a leadership dedicated to nation building) results will be mediocre at best.

There is no doubt that Sierra Leone is a blessed nation full of  natural blessings a country would pray for. The next step requires our leadership to get more serious about the challenges this country faces, to make our education fit for today's Sierra Leone,  and to strengthen platforms for engaging our youth both locally and internationally. And finally we must assure young people that yes it is possible to make it and be succesful here in Sierra Leone. Let's make Sierra Leone youth friendly.
This way we set a strong foundation to truly unleash the potential of Sierra Leone's youth to champion our country's transformation to a place we can all be proud to call home.